I made the painful decision to early terminate and come back to the States in mid-July. It

was one of the most difficult decisions in my life seeing how I went

through so much to even get to SA in the first place. I was

disappointed that I could just never get things to work out. I know

that many PCVs have difficulty in the first few months, and that some

of my issues were not unique, but I questioned why I should be putting

myself through an unnecessary amount of suffering for no sort of reason

that made any sense to me. I did everything that I felt I could do to

fix my situation, but it was just beyond me. Some people in the States

say to me, “It must have been hard over there with no running water,

etc.” To me, the environmental inconveniences were the least of my

problems. I had it pretty good as PCVs go – I had running water (only

for a few hours a day, but at least I had it). Taxis ran through my

village in a pretty reliable fashion (I don’t think I’ve ever had to

wait more than 15 minutes for one). It only cost me 14 rand to go to

the grocery store (I know other PCVs that pay way more). On the

downside, I never had my own outside room like I was supposed to have,

which did tend to cause some issues for me. One thing that I can say is

that personal space is not overrated.

And even though seeing people in perpetual poverty, funerals in the

village on a weekly basis, and illness on a daily basis get to you

after awhile, it was manageable. One difficulty I did have was dealing

a lack of resources (all PCVs go through this). On a PCV paycheck I

couldn’t afford to buy the supplies I wanted to buy (unless

I didn’t want to eat for a day or two), and I wasn’t prepared to ask

for money from home all the time. It also didn’t help that my

organization never seemed to know what I was there for, that we hadn’t

had funding for five months, and that for the most part we could never

understand each other. I’m not blaming the people at my org, because I really do think they meant well and like myself, were just put in a bad situation. In my opinion, site development was really lacking and I think most of the misunderstandings, heartache, etc. could have been avoided if more research would have been done beforehand. There were many reasons I felt PC did not work out for me, but I’m not going to post them publicly. If you want to ask me about it, feel free. Even though I’m disappointed that PC did not work out for me, I’m not bitter about it – things happen. My life didn’t come to an end, and just because I didn’t accomplish what I wanted to going this route doesn’t mean that I can’t/won’t accomplish it some other way in the future.

I don’t want this post to sound entirely negative, because honestly, I am thankful for having the opportunity to go to SA. I don’t regret the time I spent in SA. The people are some of the most welcoming that I’ve ever seen. I met people I never would have met otherwise (both South Africans and Americans). I’ve met people that I’m sure I’ll keep in touch with for years to come. I learned about cultures different from my own (which is never a detriment). I was also able to learn quite a bit about myself. When you don’t have many distractions, it gives you a lot of time to think. I’m also thankful for having the best PST host mother and host sister anyone could want, and I’m so happy they were able to see me before I left SA.

To any of the SA19ers that might stumble across this, I wish you a lot of luck. I hope that your PC experience is everything you want it to be and that everyone remains healthy and safe. I hope you are able to have successful projects, and if you ever want to contact me, feel free. I’d be happy to hear from you anytime.

Salani Kahle!

Hello all,

I know it’s been forever since I’ve written anything in my blog. The closest Internet cafe is 46k from me, so I only go there a few times a month (if even). Anyhow, things have been fine, the weather started cooling off, but now it’s warm again, and I’m sure it’ll cool off again.

I’m getting used to my village and some faces are starting to become familiar to me. My typical day starts out with me walking 10 minutes to work, and greeting a few people as I go along. There are some “regulars” I tend to see quite a bit, but there are others that just seem to pop up out of nowhere. Most people are kind and just say “hello” back to me and try to speak to me in Afrikaans or SiSwati. Sometimes I try to work on my broken Zulu, other times I just use English (especially with the younger ones.) The children typically laugh at me and ask, “HOW ARE YOU?” and then respond with, “”I’M FINE!” With the youngest ones, this is about all of the English they know at this point. It’s very cute.

Of course, like many other American women here, I get proposed to all the time. The other day a taxi driver told me that he loves me with all of his liver and that he can’t spend one more night without me. Sometimes it’s really awkward, but most of the time I just laugh. Although, recently this one guy would not quit following me so I saw two girls standing out in their yard and I went over to talked to them. They promptly shooed him away for me.

Life is pretty slow over all. I wake up and go to work and at ten they have tea, and at noon they eat, and at two they eat again and then I’m home by dark. I do a lot of reading, so if you feel sorry for me please send books.

I have an Internet phone out here, and I use it for basic emails and surfing things like Facebook, but there are a lot of times that the connection just stops. Sometimes this happens for days at a time.

I live in a fairly modern house. We have a shower with running hot and cold water (that works sometimes). It’s amazing we even have running water. It runs from 7 a.m. until someone decides to shut it off. I’m thankful I don’t have to trek for a long distance to get water. At my original host family’s house I had to use an outside tap and lug water inside for bucket baths, etc. I still wash my clothes by hand like I did at the other place.

I have to go grocery shopping pretty often, because I have to drag my bags from the taxi to home (about ten minutes) so I can’t fill them too full due to the simple fact I can’t carry it all.

I wish I had more of an update, but there’s nothing going on right at this moment, so I’ll aim to update either mid-May or the end of May.

This will be the last time I post for awhile. I leave for staging in Philly in the morning, and I’m super excited!

During training I’ll have no Internet access whatsoever, so I won’t be able to blog.

I’ll blog as soon as I’m able. Wish me luck!

I’m starting to get serious about packing my things. I have some space saver bags and bought tons of stuff over the weekend.

I now have a cool Leatherman multi-tool and a quick draw Gerber knife. It’s pretty nifty.

I’m excited about watching the inauguration tomorrow. Then there’s “Lost” on Wednesday. It’s going to be a good TV week for me. Besides running around like a chicken with my head cut off, things are going smooth!

Last Monday I made my reservation for staging. I was emailed my itinerary the same day, but don’t think I’ll get an e-ticket until later this week (or maybe next week).

It’s hard to think of all of the things I need to do. I make a mental list then either forget to write it down, or debate whether or not I need to bother doing that particular thing. I’m guessing I’ll procrastinate (like usual) and then go nuts at the end.

The worst part is figuring out my baggage situation, but I think I’m coming really close to deciding. I found a rolling carry-on case for $10.00 at Target. It’s not the sturdiest thing, but I think it’ll be just fine for where I’m trying to go. I don’t want to carry a bunch of duffels, so I’m trying to get at least one rolling case.

Anyhow, nothing else new to report for now!

I received my staging email on Friday, but by the time I checked my email I couldn’t do anything about it (D.C. office was closed by then). I was informed by someone in our group that they aren’t going to be able to book our flights yet because the person in charge of that won’t be back until Tuesday or Wednesday. By now I’m pretty used to things not going according to plan.

So now it’s the mad rush to figure out what to bring and not bring, to make sure to leave sufficient info behind for those that need it. I’ve waited quite awhile for this time to get here, so it’s quite surreal.

Anyhow, gotta go work on some more lists! Hope everyone is having a good start to 2009!

I meant to write more posts before 2008 ended, but I guess it didn’t work out that way. I’m currently awaiting the arrival of my staging kit. It’s supposed to arrive three to four weeks before orientation. Since staging is going to be Feb. 2nd, I shouldn’t have to wait more than a week or so to get it. I can’t wait.

I can’t believe staging is only a month away. I have so many things to do, but have been sort of putting them off. I don’t want to wait until I’m absolutely down to the wire, so I better get to it.

Tomorrow I’m getting together with a friend to sew some skirts. I found a few in the store, but you’d be surprised how hard it is to find longer skirts in the store. Maybe I just don’t know where to shop?

Anyhow, I hope everyone has a healthy and happy new year.

So, I have less than two months to go. Our staging was supposed to take place on Jan. 28th, but I’ve been hearing rumors it’s changed to Feb. 4th. I guess that’s not too much of an issue, but I’ll know for sure about the departure date once I get my staging kit.

I’m still trying to get some things put together. One of my friends and I are going to sew a couple of skirts over Christmas break. I don’t exactly have a bunch of long skirts laying around, so that’s something I need to get together.

I also need to get a lot of little things like batteries, a knife – just little dumb things you normally don’t think about, but might need once you get there.

I’m not bringing a laptop. I’m also not bringing a solar charger. I might regret both of these decisions later. As far as the laptop goes, the one I was going to bring died a few months ago and I can’t see myself spending several hundred on a new one just to take over there (which will more than likely get damaged, if not stolen). As far as the solar charger… I really wanted to take one for my iPod, but everyone that I have talked to says that if you leave anything outside it’s subject to being stolen.

I’ve done a lot of ‘pre-packing’ recently, but really, I think I need to wait until  I get my staging kit to see what else is needed from me (additional passport photos, etc.) I already bought my super-expensive medications, so I’m glad I have that out of the way.

Otherwise, I’ve been lazing around, chillin’ with the dogs, and doing some Christmas-like things. I can’t wait until staging!

Hello all,

I know it’s been awhile since I’ve written anything. For awhile I was reading other people’s websites to get a general idea of what to expect once I get to SA. At this point, I’ve pretty much stopped reading them, because I want to be able to have my own experience that isn’t clouded by what someone else might have experienced.

When you are invited for a Peace Corps program, you never quite know where you’ll wind up. Yes, you know where your training will be held, but you have no idea where your site will be, or how rural or urban it will be. I guess my point is, without knowing where you are going, why try to set expectations for it? It’s sort of like making an itinerary for Disneyland, and when you arrive you actually find out you’re in Alaska.

At the same time, this makes it a bit tricky when you’re packing. Should I pack more heavy duty outfits for rural areas, or should I pack dressier things for an office environment? It’s a little maddening.

Anyhow, I should be getting my staging info in a month or so. I wonder if it’ll be D.C. I’ve never been there, so it might be fun to look around.

My latest dilemma is trying to find good luggage for my trip.

We’re allowed one carry on item less than 45″ all dimensions, and two carry-ons with a total of 107″ dimensions (no more than 40 pounds for one bag). Anything I take I have to be able to carry myself, so the lighter the better.

I want to get a backpack and have it checked, but I keep reading about how people’s packs are torn, etc. Maybe I could just put it in an army duffel so this won’t happen, but I really don’t feel like spending twenty dollars on a duffel just for that. Does anyone else have experience with checking backpacks? I’ve never done it before.

It’s already making me nuts.